[K-drama lessons] Everything I need to know, I learned from K-dramas

by Guest Beanie

*There will be spoilers of some referenced K-dramas

1. Have a significant other who is an orphan. No back-stabbing at the least, at the most, murderous in-laws.

You think I jest? Ask any K-drama female lead who has a mother-in-law who overworks them, and tries to overtake the family with their narcissistic demands. Ask any male lead who is not good enough for the CEO’s precious daughter — or is the CEO herself — but still beholden to the family tree, and to make those branches grow more gold.

For some reason, grandfather-in-laws are fine, but grandmother-in-laws are even worse than mother-in-laws.

Never mind all the psychological turmoil of losing your parents at a young age — your love will conquer all demons!

2. The quietest introvert is the one you need to worry might be plotting your (or someone else’s) demise.

The paralegal who drives the murder plot, who you barely see in frame. The dutiful secretary who makes sure you are on time and brings you yummy side dishes, but pushes your competitors off a roof. The office worker who no one talks to, and has no lines, until the very last episode. The sunbae who has an inferiority complex and threatens you and your girlfriend. This renders a perfectly good K-drama utterly tasteless.

3. The loudest extrovert also wants to kill you.

Call it overcompensation, but trust no one on either side of the bell curve.

4. The youngest person in the family or group is usually the wisest and makes the best choices.

The little sister who gives her much older brother dating advice. The prodigy gamer/computer programmer who somehow hacks their way into the most secure networks and saves the lead. The younger male nurse who puts young doctors in their place for berating the other staff. Only in a K-drama.

5. Speaking of… Don’t mess with nurses.

Whether they are evil psychopathic mothers in disguise or wise confidants running the entire show, just don’t mess with them. This is also true in real life.

6. Seniority is everything. And everyone becomes a sunbae eventually.

If you treat those that have more power and experience than you with respect, you can get anything you want. That is, if you aren’t the youngest and get bullied and abused by everyone else on a higher rung. This works in the military as well as society at large.

7. Men with umbrellas are better than men without them. (With the corollary: Yellow umbrellas are better than all other umbrellas.)

This is where I learned my lesson late. My partner doesn’t believe in them. *sigh* Even a half-broken-found-in-the-attic-storage-room-umbrella is better than none at all. It shows the underlying thoughtfulness of our protagonist. Furthermore, you wouldn’t want your lover to catch cold after her head gets wet. This would mean you must apply a cool compresses to her head all never-ending night (see #10) while she is delirious with fever. (Apparently, antipyretics don’t exist in dramaland either).

8. There’s a chaebol on every corner, pretending not to be.

Actually, depending on where you go to college or university, this might be the truest one. I went to a private liberal arts school and found out after watching K-dramas that I was friends with, dated or almost dated, no fewer than five of them. From the grandson of a large agricultural factory owner, to the VP’s son of a large big-box chain, to the son of a self-made plastics company — no one ever told me how rich I could have been marrying them. (Again, a lesson learned too late.)

9. Cry when no one is looking.

Or even when they are looking, or just anytime. It’s cathartic and drives out evil. And you feel better afterwards. Ask Hye-sung on the recently aired Call It Love. That was the best cry I’ve seen this year.

10. The night never ends.

Until it does… hung over or after a fever dream — in someone else’s house or bed, but usually your own. Well, that got dark all of a sudden. But really, there are more hours at night than in a day, and all-night dates and noraebang parties are what you have to look forward to while adulting. The K-drama mantra must be Work Hard, but Play Harder! And don’t forget your hangover soup.

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[K-drama lessons] Everything I need to know, I learned from K-dramas